Things change

It's high time that I dedicate some space in a journal to my
step-daughter, Michelle. Strange thing about step-children. In any
relationship, they are necessarily an afterthought, an also ran. First
comes love, then comes marriage, then in today's society, comes the
familiarization and bonding activities with the step-kids. How odd to be considered family and to move into the same house with a complete stranger!

Like any new step-mom, I was eager to get to know Michelle and make
friends. As fate would have it, the day I moved in was the day she told
her mother she was pregnant and I quickly took on the role of mediator/interpreter...not necessarily an auspicious begining. Being the negotiator actually stopped me from getting to KNOW Michelle...mostly our relationship was about helping her mother handle whatever "Michelle Crisis" came up. After the first grand kid was born, I still felt somewhat the outsider because I didn't know my part. Would my couple relationship last long enough for me to be a part of the baby's life? Was it really kosher for me, only ten years her senior, to counsel her on how to live her life? Was this topsy-turvey domestic home life what I really wanted?

Eleven years and many, many trials later, I can finally report that we are friends...no, we are family. It wasn't an easy road and I don't think any of us knew how it was going to turn out. To her credit, she had always accepted me...but I had to accept her and she had to accept herself and grow up...and she is now an amazingly strong, funny, smart and independent 30 year old. Her mother said it best...you don't wake up until you hit 30. But wake up she has and I never knew that watching someone finally blossom would be such a soul satisfying experience.

This month, Michelle turns 31 and I absolutely know, down to my very core, that she will be a person of growing influence as she matures...a truly positive force to be reckoned with.

Happy Birthday Month Michelle,

Love, Tia